i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
