I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
