Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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