I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
