That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
