problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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