and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
