Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
