So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
