I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I'm really busy with my period
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
