she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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