Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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