Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
zippers are such a cool invention
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
