We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
