i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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