Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
