If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
