The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
