People with herpes should wear stickers.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
