Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Randomize
