She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize