Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
