5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
