What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
