Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
