Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
