So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
