some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
