You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize