worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
