Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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