That's intense
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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