i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
