Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize