Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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