I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
