Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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