Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize