i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
