I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He did a backflip because drugs
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