The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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