I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
