Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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