May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
