You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
