What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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