i would punch a child for taco bell
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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