she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
