Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
