I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
