No stitches, just platelets and will power
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
