hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
