Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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