I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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