we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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