P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
