i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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