Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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