Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
